A ball rolled up into the grass of Vandelay’s property.
What the hell is this? he asks himself, walking toward it.
He picks it up to find yet another note from Choo. It reads: “TRADE ME MONCADA.”
Damn kids, Vandelay says, scanning the neighborhood for the culprit. With no one in sight, he returns to his rocking chair on his porch and waits, shotgun in hand.
He is Clint Eastwood in fantasy baseball’s great new movie called Gran Bambino, the story of an angered old fantasy owner who just wants everyone to leave him alone.
He tried to be nice once, opening up trade talks with the JLB, but of course, it all went wrong.
“I only decided on a rebuild so that I could condense trade offers and private messages from owners into a short period,” he said. “Unfortunately it back-fired and now people think I'm actually going to respond to trade requests and offers. Get off my lawn!”
I’ll let his anger slide. It’s understandable. He traded Chris Sale only to have the key piece in the return go down for Tommy John a week later. It was hard to believe.
Nevertheless, Vandelay’s rebuild isn’t completely derailed. He has some good players to build around — including the aforementioned Yoan Moncada.
“My favorite prospect is to be determined,” Vandelay said. “I'm hoping Daniel Norris takes that jump this year even though I know he's not really a prospect anymore. But most likely Moncada [my favorite prospect] since I'm hoping to fleece some prospect hungry owner for a third of their team to trade for him.”
Another piece he may be able to sell if that’s the route he goes is Giancarlo Stanton, who is having a nice World Baseball Classic showing.
“The question is always can he stay healthy,” Vandelay admitted. “He's only 27 so there’s still plenty of time for him to do damage. I’m hoping for a huge year and hoping he gives me a hard decision of whether to trade him to continue the rebuild or hope I can put pieces around him to go at it the next few years.”
Surely, one of those trade hopefuls will be Choo. He has to be the encroaching on Vandelay’s lawn the most, right?
S
“Unfortunately it has not just been Choo,” he said. “But let’s just say that I’m thankful social media has “block” features. I wonder if FanTrax has that too?”
Nope. Only block feature it has is a trading block.
Might I suggest noise-canceling headphones? Perhaps a cabin in the woods? Worst comes to worst, there's always retirement where you'll find a nice old rocking chair and a quiet porch.
Knowing your luck, Choo would call you a day into retirement.
Vandelay begrudgingly answers the phone, "Hello?"
"How much you want for that Ford Gran Torino in your driveway?" Choo asks. "I'll give you Eloy, Frazier and Odubel. Odubel is an OBP king!"
CLICK
Nope. Only block feature it has is a trading block.
Might I suggest noise-canceling headphones? Perhaps a cabin in the woods? Worst comes to worst, there's always retirement where you'll find a nice old rocking chair and a quiet porch.
Knowing your luck, Choo would call you a day into retirement.
Vandelay begrudgingly answers the phone, "Hello?"
"How much you want for that Ford Gran Torino in your driveway?" Choo asks. "I'll give you Eloy, Frazier and Odubel. Odubel is an OBP king!"
CLICK
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