Five weeks.
It’s been five weeks since my last Jargon. My apologies. I blame three things:
1) My job includes championships that go from April 21 to May 21.
2) My laptop was just fixed after a long two months of literally having to rub the monitor like a genie lamp to get it to wake up. It was not fun and awkward to explain to people in press boxes in the Northeast.
3) Oh, and yeah, a 3-month-old named Lucas.
Still, I probably could have snuck in a Jargon a few weeks ago, so I have to apologize because I've missed a lot of things.
A lot has
happened in the JLB since mid April, but nothing bigger than Ol’ Country taking control of the
American League.
A lot of that has to do with the fact that his pitching has
been outstanding. He has a JLB-best 73 quality starts with 841 strikeouts. Both
stats are way out in front of everyone else in the JLB.
Much of that has to do with Chris Sale, who is 6-2 in 11
starts with 110 strikeouts and a 2.77 ERA. It’s quite ridiculous what he is
doing right now. He’s shearing through batters like they’re unwanted throwback
jerseys.
The impressive feat is even more astounding considering the fact that his success is coming in the AL East under the great
pressure of Boston fans who saw several top prospects go away for the lefty ace
and his team-friendly contract. He has not cracked under that pressure. Even a certain Red Sox fan in our League — let’s call him Crox — said Sale would be better in Year 2 of Boston.
If that’s true, my goodness.
For Ol’ Country, he made a similar deal in the JLB to
acquire Sale and it’s paid of ten-fold for him.
It’s not the only deal that worked out for him. He also
brought in Lance McCullers Jr. and that has worked itself into a 6-1 record
with eight quality starts, 81 strikeouts and a 2.71 ERA.
Gerrit Cole’s ERA isn’t as great as the other two trade
acquisitions with a 4.27 ERA, but his eight quality starts have made up for his three
stinkers. The only worry for Ol’ Country should be that all three stinkers (16
of 26 earned runs on the season) have come in his last three starts.
Add those three with first-round draft pick Dylan Bundy —
the guy I once cherished and decided not to believe in this year as a
first-round pick — and Sam has four pitchers who have really lifted him up to
that first-place position he could only dream about last year as a last-place
team.
CHOO MAKING MORE MIS-STEAKS
Right behind Chris Sale is Max Sherzer. With 100 strikeouts
and a 2.56 ERA, he’s just as dominant as he’s been since he was traded by the Choo.
Oh, Choo.
He trades so much and there are so many deals that just make
you scratch your head. Many of those head-scratchers have led to us eating crow
and he has the last laugh.
One of those deals is not the Jeff Samardzija for Robinson
Cano. He’s been pushing for Cano to rejoin the ranks of the Choo ever since.
If Dr. Seuss were to write a book on bad Choo trades, he’d
certain talk about that one, and then add in the one he made this week.
Yes, that's right. This week, he dealt for closer and gave up Miguel Sano, the majors
second-highest RBI hitter at 3B.
Cano and Sano.
They had to go.
Where did they go?
No one will know.
You can ask a man.
You can ask Stan the Man.
You could ask the fan who caught Pujols' historic slam.
You can ask Sam I am or anyone who eats green eggs and ham.
No matter who you ask, none of them would trade Lamb.
Wait... What? Yes, Choo also traded Jake Lamb. He's the top RBI producer at 3B, in case you were wondering.
The Sano deal, at the end of the day, is a win for the Sex
Panthers, but oh well, you do what you have to do to get a certified closer. I
know this all too well having traded a young, not-yet-developed Mike Trout for
Jonathan Papelbon.
That said, Choo’s deal for Seung Hwan Oh may be one of the
worst I’ve ever seen him make. The offensive firepower he gave up in Lamb and
D.J. LeMahieu to get Oh along with Joe Ross and Victor Martinez.
Oh? Oh my.
I'd say more, but I'm just going to say you can read it all in my next published book: "One Fish, Two Fish, What the Hell Are You Doing Choo Fish?"
DOWN AND OUT
The Outs, the defending champion in the JLB, is still doing
well in the standings, but when you consider all that has happened, it’s quite
amazing where he is as we near the midway point of the season.
This super team has lost — currently missing or has missed
out on the following — Josh Donaldson, Kris Bryant, Mike Trout, Freddie
Freeman, Starling Marte, Madison Bumgarner and Zach Britton. He somehow flipped
Marte for the reigning R.O.Y. in the American League — I swear he’s a fantasy
baseball Jedi — and with all those setbacks mentioned, he’s still sitting at
82.73-21, which is 7.0 games out of first place and just 1.5 games out of a
playoff spot.
So, while he can be mad at the fantasy gods, he can at the
same time thank them for keeping him right there in the race. As the team that
is in third place right now, I’m certainly not sitting here comfortably.
This seat is as scary as setting up a lawn chair in the
Australian Outback and just cracking open some cold ones as the sun goes down.
What’s the worst that
could happen? Wait? Is that a spider? A Walter Funnel-Web? OUCH!
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