By JIMMY'S JARGON
Written for STEVEN "CHOO" SPILLANE
Choo York Times Fake News Senior Writer
Extra, extra, read all about it!
Extra, extra, read all about it!
The Choo can’t be happy about his fifth-place finish in the poll, but then again, he has to be having a better night than the Cheese Steaks.
Salvador Perez’s freak injury now places the Steaks back where he was a few weeks ago.
Still, the Cheese is most people's main squeeze in the National League.
Most everyone, but Choo.
The illustrious three-time World Series loser decided to weigh in on a lot of things from the JLB to the MLB.
Let's start with the JLB.
First, he had Gamblers winning the AL regular season crown and Breakfast coming in second.
Now, he couldn’t vote for himself, but based on his scoffing at the Sex Panthers finishing ahead of him, I’m going to assume he had himself in as the third seed and not Gina, whom he had voted third in the AL.
The NL regular-season crown went to Lebowski, with the Steaks and Slammers getting the second and third seed.
In the playoffs, he had Breakfast and Slammers — thank you — moving out of the divisional series, and he had both upsetting the No. 1 seeds to go to the World Series.
There, he had Breakfast serving up a platter of defeat to the Slammers. It's OK. I'll take that.
I can see the headline now: Breakfast of Champions.
Choo also went on to give his MLB predictions. I didn’t ask for them but that doesn't mean I won’t share them.
His division winners are as follows: Yankees, Twins, Astros, Phillies, Cubs, Rockies.
His wild cards are… Wait. Phillies?
What? Are you kidding me? I mean, I expect a good jump in wins for the Phils, but a division title? I'm a Phillies fan and I think that's crazy. Then again, I'm as objective a Philly fan that you will find.
Still, wow. That’s bold.
OK, so on to the wild cards: Red Sox, Mariners (of course, every year he picks them), Dodgers and Nats.
Then he has Yankees over Mariners, Astros over Twins, Rockies over Phillies, and Cubs over Dodgers in the division round.
The Astros and Rockies move on to the World Series where Houston repeats.
Major awards go to Manny Machoodo (MVP), Corey Kluber (Cy), Gleyber Torres (ROY), Joey Votto (MVP), Jake Arrieta (Cy), Jorge Alfaro (ROY).
That is quite prediction from the JLB’s lovable Choo. Now that it’s “officially” published on the Jargon, he can brag about it in October, or just casually forget the hyperlink and hope it remains buried in a mass of random Jargon posts.
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