Rick Grimes awoke from his coma and the world was not how he left it. That’s how Walking Dead starts.
For the last three months, I’ve been a zombie. It was a funk I just couldn’t break. I didn’t want to do anything. I stopped my podcast with Erik Carlson (I’ll get to him in a second), I stopped working on my on-going novels, one of which should have been published and out by now, and lastly, I stopped caring about the Jargon.
April 16 was the last day I posted on the blog, the Week 2 recap. It was snowing and games were being postponed left and right.
The Cheese Steaks won 17-5 and not much has changed for him. He has a 35.5-game lead on first place in the JLB over second-place Lebowski, the team he spanked back in Week 2.
Alas, here I am, in Week 15, waking in my bed, just like Rick Grimes did, and what I see before me is unrecognizable.
The Phillies are in first place. Four American League teams are on pace for 100 wins. Bryce Harper may not even get $200M if he keeps this slump going. Juan Soto was the guy we should have all traded for. Charlie Morton is on the best 2-year, $14M deal that everyone thought was a huge overpayment. And Trevor Story is an All-Star.
Wait. Let me write that again.
Trevor Story is an All-Star.
That's quite insane for Steroid.ERA considering all the middle infielders he gave up. In the end, he has a shortstop that has paid off.
Let's go back to that last Jargon in Week 2.
I wrote in that magnificent piece of journalism about Shohei Ohtani.
Oh, Ohtani. The hype I had for him. And here I am on July 12 — how the hell is it already July 12? — and it’s like the last six months never happened.
Both Ohtani and Ronald Acuna are gone, sent back to the Choo, for my boy Jose Altuve. Somehow I was able to keep Kenley Jansen and gain Odubel Herrera and Aroldis Chapman — as well as my — technically his — first-round pick, Carlos Santana.
That’s like robbing a Wawa and as you walk out, the clerk comes running after you saying, “Hey, you forgot the safe,” and hands you a big bag of cash.
[Hey, Erik. Wawa is a kick-ass gas station/convenience store here in the Philadelphia region with fantastic made-to-order food. You’ll learn that when you come out to visit.]
Three months ago, that sidenote would have made no sense, but alas, we have a new owner in Erik Carlson, a.k.a. Hubs. He joined the JLB a few weeks ago to give our fantasy league an international flavor, and although he’s still getting himself accustomed to a non-roto league, he’s adjusting well. For starters, pun intended, he has a starting catcher who isn’t suspended, among other things.
He also has a golden boy in Mookie Betts who literally just hit another grand slam moments ago. This Mookie dude is having one hell of a season. So is Mike Trout. Could you imagine if they were on the same fantasy team?
So, let’s quickly recap what’s going on in the JLB.
The two World Series teams from a year ago are both division leaders. The aforementioned Steaks look to be in a position to just sit back and wait for the winner of the NL wild card series, which is in line to be a Dude vs. Slammers battle. Yes, I somehow, some way have a 10-game lead on a playoff position. It’s been six years since I have been able to say that in July.
It’s also crazy to think since this year started as a rebuild for me. I had as many as six green flag players on my ACTIVE roster in May. Now, there’s just one. And that guy, Luis Urias, should be up soon.
In the American League, it’s a different story for the division lead as Breakfast only holds a 1-game lead over the loquacious Gamblers, and the Crox Sox are 9.5 games behind.
The Sex Panthers are 13.5 games back of that so it will take some work to get back in there, while Big League Choo is Big League Screwing this fantasy thing up. He had the dream infield and it just never panned out.
Choo is now in rebuild mode with the NJ Bombers, and I’m telling you, watch out for the Bombers. Once his entire team is legally allowed to drink, we may all be sitting here drinking away our sorrows.
Choo is now in rebuild mode with the NJ Bombers, and I’m telling you, watch out for the Bombers. Once his entire team is legally allowed to drink, we may all be sitting here drinking away our sorrows.
I hope not, though.
I'd hate to fall into a funk like that again.
I'll see you all for Week 16. All-Star Week. You know, that game where the best players take the field, like Bryce Harper.
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