A chariot drawn by a stable of horses pulled up to the sound of trumpets, drums and cheers.
The kingdom was celebrating once again.
Emerging from the safety of his royal carriage was King James III, the mightiest of them all.
With the sun dropping toward the horizon behind him, King James waved to his people and smiled. He was charming like that, especially at 4 o'clock in the afternoon.
It had been a long journey and he appreciated all of their hard work.
He started from the front: “Thanks, Max, my good ol’ pal.”
A pat on Max’s head drew a neigh from the leader of his crew, and he moved on.
“Thanks, Nola. Thanks, Clay. Thanks, Miles. And yes, and you too, Syndy," he said to a horse covered in bandages.
A pair of horses in the back of the pack shuffled their hooves and made some noise.
“Oh, don’t worry Clevy and Greinke. I didn’t forget you two. … Even though you two did less than half of the work!”
Those in the crowd closest to him heard the joke and laughed hysterically.
With the JLB crown atop his head, King James left his horses for the stone staircase that led to the kingdom’s main castle, his home.
At the top of the staircase, he turned to address the roaring crowd. He flapped his arms like an eagle to settle the masses.
Once quiet, he raised his hands in the air and said, “We are champions again!”
“Philly Philly!” shouted a random peasant to his right.
“The mighty Crox from the Kingdom of South Whitehall brought his army to the battlefield, and even though they threw several Rox at us, we fired back with Manny sticks and totally obliterated the opposition!”
A man in a dark brown cloak snuck in and whispered in King James’ ear, “Ah, Sire, it was basically a tie.”
“They don’t know that,” the King snarled back.
He turned back to the people.
“We have many knights to thank for this victory on the battlefield, but the man who slay the dragon was Sir Nicholas Castellanos (13-for-26 with 5 doubles, a triple, a homer, and 5 RBIs)! May he forever be remembered as the hero!”
The man in the cloak returned, “It wasn’t a dragon. It was a crocodile.”
King James only stared at the man and the cloaked Debby downer retreated to his position in the background.
“But no knight was more important than Sir Edwin and his trusty parrot. His siege of Crox’s home in the final stages of the battle was the difference. That is why from now on, we will have a new sigil for our Kingdom!”
He turned to a pair of men to his left and signaled with his right hand. They quickly lifted the new flag that bore the colorful etching of a parrot on a single branch.
The crowd roared. And roared. And roared some more. King James soaked it all in. He wasn’t sure how long it lasted because he got lost in a daydream where he saw a bunch of people lined up on the cobbled stone streets of South Whitehall, waiting for the scheduled parade. The disappointment on the faces of … South Whitehalltonians? ... Whitehallites? ... Whitehallbillies? … Well, whatever… Their disappointment brought him joy.
When King James snapped back into the moment, the crowd was once again silent, waiting for him to speak. Before he could, a woman shouted from the crowd, “Does this mean we are now safe?”
“Never,” he said. “There are 11 other kingdoms out there and they all want the same thing. That is why I must get going. The battle never ends. I have meetings in the North; we call them Winter Meetings. I will beg, barter and steal goods for us to continue on as a great kingdom! But please, celebrate the victory tonight! Just know that tomorrow, the next battle begins!”
“Philly Philly!” the peasant to his right shouted once again.
King James finally climbed back into his royal carriage and prepared to ride off. As the horses took their first couple steps, he quickly shouted, “Hold up!”
The carriage came to an immediate stop and King James jumped out again. He ran to the front of the carriage and up to his one horse, an older stallion named Greinke.
King James unhooked his harness and smacked the horse on the backside.
“Go on back to Butter, my good friend! I'll see you again next July."
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