It's official! We will have a new World Series champion in 2019!
We'll also have our first international affair, and to keep the "firsts" going, it will be the first two-week World Series.
Which is good because Quad Eh has continued to show that one week is not enough.
Two weeks in a row, his matchup has ended 10-10-2. After beating three-time World Series champion Cheese Steaks on a second tie-breaker, he downs the best team in the JLB in 2019 with the first tie-breaker.
Ties here, ties there. Maybe, just maybe, Quad Eh has found his calling. He needs to open up Quad Eh's Quality Canadian Ties.
It's a business that should do fairly well. We know how Canadians like their ties. The NHL was all about the tie until America had to come in and ruin it with the push for the shootout.
Personally, I hated the move and still do. Yes, a shootout can be fun, but it's not part of the game. I hate solving a tie with something that is not part of the game.
It'd be like if I asked Quad Eh to arm-wrestle Dude to solve their 10-10-2 tie.
Thankfully for Quad Eh, he didn't have to arm-wrestle to win the NLCS — I would have put my money on the Dude winning that tussle.
It went to a tie-breaker because somehow the Dude couldn't get two walks when he most needed it. Cody Bellinger got one, but it was in his fourth at-bat. He was 0-for-3 prior to that at-bat, and the Dude's catcher Will Smith went 0-for-4.
Sadly for the Dude, this matchup was lost long before Sunday night baseball. His big hitters all went silent and his big arms kept getting pulled after 5 innings. He missed out on some key categories and thus found himself sitting at 10-10-2.
In the tie-breaker, Quad Eh won 5-3 to send him to his first World Series in his first full year in the JLB, joining a long list of newcomers to make it in their second JLB seasons — Cheese Steaks, Crox Sox and, yes, the man he will face in the 2019 JLB World Series, Big Country Breakfast.
Breakfast avoided the tie-breaker in the ALCS with a big Sunday to win 13-7-2 over Choo-icken Little. Finally the sky fell on him.
Sam led 11-10-1 Sunday morning and he wound up taking over three categories he was losing — sacrifices, quality starts and wins.
The first of them, sacrifices, was rather incredible. Choo led that category 2-0, but two from Victor Caratini and one from JD Martinez gave Sam the 3-2 lead in the category.
Pitching-wise, Trevor Bauer and Sean Manaea ( .... Manaea .... ) both combined for two quality starts and two wins to flip those categories in Sam's favor.
Had he found himself tied in those categories heading into Sunday night, Zack Wheeler (quality start) and Kenley Jansen (win) would have done the trick.
It was Sam's matchup to win. There was no reverse jinx that would have saved this for Choo.
And that leads me to my first Jargon timeout. (I have two remaining.)
There are some rules we need to look at in the offseason, like maybe changing up some of the stats we use to score our League, but before we can even talk about that, we need to institute the Anti-Choo Jinx Rule.
Seriously. It is CHOO much. Every matchup. Every Tuesday. And Wednesday. And Friday. And Sunday morning. It's the same.
It's over. Congrats. No way. I'm finished.
Sam had so many personal "I can't believe it's over" messages that he thought he had broken up with a crazy high school girlfriend.
Do I block her? Sam had to wonder with the chirp of another notification.
Poor Sam. His sanity, our sanity, is why we need this new rule.
And the new rule will be simple: "If anyone congratulates an opponent or declares a matchup over before the matchup is actually over, the matchup will become officially OVER."
Sounds drastic?
Oh well, Choo. We all voted behind your back and the rule is going into the rulebook right away.
Would you believe the vote was 5-4 before Quad Eh came in with a YES vote to make it 5-5.
Oh, those Canadians and their ties.
You might be wondering right now, what was the tie-breaker?
Well, it was Gina. She was sleeping, so when she woke up, I gave her the vote and she recalled you pulling that same jinxing stuff on her a year ago.
She lost.
So you shouldn't be surprised to find out that she voted YES, too.
...
The Jargon is not responsible for any anger Choo displays after this article. All owners actions depicted in this Jargon when it comes to voting is fictional and never happened. Gina did wake up but she just went to work. No rule will be made, but god help me if I ever see another Choo jinx.
We'll also have our first international affair, and to keep the "firsts" going, it will be the first two-week World Series.
Which is good because Quad Eh has continued to show that one week is not enough.
Two weeks in a row, his matchup has ended 10-10-2. After beating three-time World Series champion Cheese Steaks on a second tie-breaker, he downs the best team in the JLB in 2019 with the first tie-breaker.
It's a business that should do fairly well. We know how Canadians like their ties. The NHL was all about the tie until America had to come in and ruin it with the push for the shootout.
Personally, I hated the move and still do. Yes, a shootout can be fun, but it's not part of the game. I hate solving a tie with something that is not part of the game.
It'd be like if I asked Quad Eh to arm-wrestle Dude to solve their 10-10-2 tie.
Thankfully for Quad Eh, he didn't have to arm-wrestle to win the NLCS — I would have put my money on the Dude winning that tussle.
It went to a tie-breaker because somehow the Dude couldn't get two walks when he most needed it. Cody Bellinger got one, but it was in his fourth at-bat. He was 0-for-3 prior to that at-bat, and the Dude's catcher Will Smith went 0-for-4.
Sadly for the Dude, this matchup was lost long before Sunday night baseball. His big hitters all went silent and his big arms kept getting pulled after 5 innings. He missed out on some key categories and thus found himself sitting at 10-10-2.
In the tie-breaker, Quad Eh won 5-3 to send him to his first World Series in his first full year in the JLB, joining a long list of newcomers to make it in their second JLB seasons — Cheese Steaks, Crox Sox and, yes, the man he will face in the 2019 JLB World Series, Big Country Breakfast.
Breakfast avoided the tie-breaker in the ALCS with a big Sunday to win 13-7-2 over Choo-icken Little. Finally the sky fell on him.
Sam led 11-10-1 Sunday morning and he wound up taking over three categories he was losing — sacrifices, quality starts and wins.
The first of them, sacrifices, was rather incredible. Choo led that category 2-0, but two from Victor Caratini and one from JD Martinez gave Sam the 3-2 lead in the category.
Pitching-wise, Trevor Bauer and Sean Manaea ( .... Manaea .... ) both combined for two quality starts and two wins to flip those categories in Sam's favor.
Had he found himself tied in those categories heading into Sunday night, Zack Wheeler (quality start) and Kenley Jansen (win) would have done the trick.
It was Sam's matchup to win. There was no reverse jinx that would have saved this for Choo.
And that leads me to my first Jargon timeout. (I have two remaining.)
There are some rules we need to look at in the offseason, like maybe changing up some of the stats we use to score our League, but before we can even talk about that, we need to institute the Anti-Choo Jinx Rule.
Seriously. It is CHOO much. Every matchup. Every Tuesday. And Wednesday. And Friday. And Sunday morning. It's the same.
It's over. Congrats. No way. I'm finished.
Sam had so many personal "I can't believe it's over" messages that he thought he had broken up with a crazy high school girlfriend.
Do I block her? Sam had to wonder with the chirp of another notification.
Poor Sam. His sanity, our sanity, is why we need this new rule.
And the new rule will be simple: "If anyone congratulates an opponent or declares a matchup over before the matchup is actually over, the matchup will become officially OVER."
Sounds drastic?
Oh well, Choo. We all voted behind your back and the rule is going into the rulebook right away.
Would you believe the vote was 5-4 before Quad Eh came in with a YES vote to make it 5-5.
Oh, those Canadians and their ties.
You might be wondering right now, what was the tie-breaker?
Well, it was Gina. She was sleeping, so when she woke up, I gave her the vote and she recalled you pulling that same jinxing stuff on her a year ago.
She lost.
So you shouldn't be surprised to find out that she voted YES, too.
...
The Jargon is not responsible for any anger Choo displays after this article. All owners actions depicted in this Jargon when it comes to voting is fictional and never happened. Gina did wake up but she just went to work. No rule will be made, but god help me if I ever see another Choo jinx.
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