The Swindler strikes again — he must be stopped


Hiding out of sight on a roof across from a quaint coffee shop in Allentown, the Croxman sets up his parabolic microphone.

He can hear everything the Swindler is saying.

"Got him again!" he says proudly while chuckling a laugh that can only be described as disturbingly evil.

The Swindler sipped his coffee and reached for his free pastry.

Yes, he got the waitress to throw it in as an extra when buying coffee.

Scrolling through his Fantrax app, the Swindler sees Nolan Arenado, whom he acquired for a No. 3 starter — if that — and a less-than-worth-the-hype Manny Machado.

He sees a 40-base stealer in Mondesi and an RP-eligible potential front-line starter in AJ Pu.

He sees a 27-year-old outfielder who went for 48 and 118 last year and it cost him virtually nothing from his stockpile of real keepers.

He sees Joey Bart and Nolan Gorman who went for a player who has had maybe three good weeks of baseball in his life.

He sees a championship coming and all he can do is chuckle.

He is a man of the people, and the people are succumbing to his every wish.

Croxman witnesses this all and picks up his Croxphone. 

"Commissioner Slammers. We've got a problem."

_________________________    J    _____________________________

That's a nice Jargon version of The Athletic's section break.

With the fun Swindler story aside, it's time to take a look at the man who has to feel like a tennis ball right now.

Zack Greinke has had an impressive 16 years in the majors.

He is 205-123 with a career 3.35 ERA in 2,872.0 innings. He has 2,622 strikeouts to 667 walks. The six-time All-Star won the Cy Young in 2009 with the Royals and was the runner-up in 2015 with the Dodgers.

He arguably had his best season in the majors in 2015 going 19-3 with a League-best 1.66 ERA and 200 strikeouts.

The only thing that kept him from winning the Cy Young was Jake Arietta who went 22-6 with a 1.77 ERA.

Pitching as good as he has between ages 33 and 36, it’s not out of the realm of possibility that Greinke reaches 3,000 strikeouts by the time his current contract ends at the end of the 2021 season.

Even if he doesn’t reach that plateau, I believe he is a surefire Hall of Famer.

That said, it is maddening that he found an old-new home in the JLB.

Can he keep it going at age 36? Age 37?

Steroid.ERA has to be banking on that because he just swapped a breakout star of 2019 and a pitching prospect to get Greinke.

Jorge Soler was a free-agent addition last season, so in the whole scheme of things, this is good on Steroid for turning it into a pitcher who pumps out double-digit wins, a low ERA and a good number of strikeouts.

But, is Soler for real? With 48 homers and 118 RBIs last season, the numbers look legit — especially when you look at the analytics.

And with that in mind, can Steroid survive giving up on 40-plus homers and 100 RBIs?

The fact that he also shipped off a top-15 OF in Joey Gallo for more pitching, the real question is can he survive in the power-filled National League?

He deleted about 85 homers and 200 RBIs.

Meanwhile, the Steaks added power with Nolan Arenado, the Dude added pop with Mookie Betts, and the Slammers added a slew of power with Kyle Schwarber, Matt Olson, Kris Bryant and PTBNL(s).

(That’s right, I still can’t say, but this Jargon isn’t about me.)

It’s about the staggering outfield that will be Austin Riley, Trent Grisham and Nomar Mazara.

I have tried to trade for Mazara for a while, but Sam always had prices I couldn’t match for an outfielder that I had high hopes for, especially considering that I wasn’t sure he’d ever reach that level. He’s only 24, but the fact is, in four seasons, he’s a career .261 hitter with 537 games in the books. He’s never hit more than 20 homers, so it’s not like he makes up for his lack of average with bombs.

Will that change in Chicago? Perhaps, but the OF is rather crowded with so much youth coming.

At the end of the day, he is a question mark to be that everyday outfielder.

So is Grisham in San Diego.

Riley should be fine to get a full season in, and one has to hope he can cut down on the ridiculous 39.4 percent strikeout rate.

With no shortstop on roster and a great need for a first baseman, it really seems like the idea of deleting two strong outfield options is very tough to swallow.

And that’s where we circle back to the beginning of this.

Is deleting that potential for a pitcher who has to someday hit that wall worth it? It’s one thing to get a younger pitcher, but it is certainly another to send away a 27-year-old slugger who is just finding his way for a starter that turns 37 in 2020.

As with all deals, we’ll find out as the season goes along, but it is going to be really tough to find that power to match the NL's top four from 2019 — especially, The Swindler.

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