2020 JLB PREVIEWS: Crox Sox

Crox Sox, who was in the JLB World Series in 2018, missed the playoffs in 2019 and he was 16.5 games behind the Gamblers.

 

You can imagine the sting that has left, especially now that he has had to wait this long to get going.

 

But 2020 is Crox’s revenge year, and there’s no better way to stick it to a friend than to steal their love.

 

Joey Votto.

 

“Votto going ham this year is the surest thing since Squints and Wendy Peffercorn,” Crox said. “Who will it hurt more, Parker and his beloved Reds, or Quad Eh and his belouved Canadiens?”

If Votto does have a strong season at the plate, it would surely make this offense quite the obstacle in the American League. The outfield addition of Christian Yelich to go with David Dahl and Eloy Jimenez has the potential to be something special for sure.

 

“Yelich has been a stud in MLB for some time now,” Crox said. “Some dare to say a perennial MVP candidate. But in the harsh 'What have you done for me lately' reality of the hard knock JLB, he needs to prove he’s worthy of the accolades over who I’d argue is in the top five of handsomeness, Mr. David Dahl.”

 

And let’s not count out Oscar Mercado here.

 

I surely did last season.

 

I had to make the tough decision at one point and Mercado got the axe, and Crox, just like he did with Jack Flaherty a few years back, dived into the Jargon dumpster and pulled out gold.

 

“My secret is out,” he said. “I also dumpster dove Buehler from Choo. I let you fools do all the hard work and just reap the benefits once you grow impatient. Am I right, JV?”

 

Buehler is part of a large pitching staff that includes some young talent and some older guys who may just be able to contribute at a higher level in a shortened season.

 

In any case, Crox has to be happy.

 

“I do like my staff,” he admitted. “Would have liked it better of Syndy didn’t blow out his arm in a Rose Park-esque pickup game, but it happens. (Second sandlot reference! Boom!).  The AL has some thumpers as well as some decent relievers stacked up. Call me stubborn, but I live and die by my SPs and damn it if I don’t continue that. That said, I actually updated my trade block earlier with only pitchers. I swear each and everyone is ‘healthy.’”

 

Sure they are, Crox. Sure.

 

If my dog was as ugly as some of those trades you’ve made, I’d shave its butt and make it walk backwards.