Monkey has nine healthy pitchers — SPs and RPs combined.
I was doing fine. I had 13 healthy pitchers (Michael Fulmer is still on IL but going to be ready for Opening Day). So why not give up one?
In his stead, I called the Philadelphia Zoo and they threw a monkey on a Zoom call for me. Through an interpreter at the Zoo who knows this monkey well, I got the answers I wanted.
Competing will also require pitching, so at least Monkey has Lucas Giolito and Brandon Woodruff at the front end of this rotation. He'll just need to work some magic to get some guys healthy quick.
I saw he had eight, so I figured, maybe I'll send him a starter since relievers are a bit easier to find on the waiver wire.
Now, all of a sudden I have Marcus Stroman go down, Jake Odorizzi gets a red flag, and Rick Porcello had a red flag when I started this Jargon, but it's gone now. He's scheduled to start Sunday for the Mets, so I dodged a bullet.
Nevertheless, it's amazing how quickly things can change.
Back to Monkey, who could not be reached for comment for this column.
Covid ran rampant through this team, and Monkey was without a doubt one of, if not the hardest hit teams in the JLB. He had at least seven confirmed Covid cases, an opt-out in Jordan Hicks, and he will undoubtedly lose Mike Trout for a week, if not more, for the birth of his first child. Depending on the Angels record at that point, he could even decide to opt-out. Monkey also lost Trey Mancini back in March under the most unfortunate circumstances.
It's going to be a rough 2020 JLB season for Monkey.
"OOO OOO. EEE EEE. OOO UGH OOO AH OOO EEE," the monkey said.
"He asked, 'Who is Mike Trout?'" the interpreter said.
Oh, who is Mike Trout? Only the best player in baseball and a joy to have in fantasy. I'm sure Ryan would agree. There's nothing like having Mike Trout. You get great stats in centerfield and weekly messages from Choo and Co.
But Trout isn't all by himself, although it does seem like it sometimes. Tim Anderson was the AL batting champ last season, and Monkey brought in Corey Seager and Alex Verdugo to join Anderson and Yoan Moncada.
"OOO UGH EEE EEE EEE AH AH AH OOO OOO," the monkey said.
"He said, 'Banana?!'"
No, no. Moncada. Not banana.
Giancarlo Stanton also returns and maybe playing 60 games won't be so hard for the dude who has trouble playing full seasons. If Monkey has any hopes in competing this year, it will take a season from Stanton that meets the projections.
 |
| I made this Photoshop first, so I have to still use it. |
Ain't that right, Monkey?
Monkey?
What's wrong with him?
"He's still mad you didn't have a banana," the interpreter said.
Comments