It's only a matter of time before Choo wakes up and sees a bright orange light burning through his curtains. Day after day after day, it will shine until it drives him completely crazy.
"I love the idea of bright blue billboard with flashing lights taunting Choo every waking moment," the Dude said. "If only I had Betts my house on the KBO champions NC Dinos instead of $AMC, this billboard would be a reality."
A second straight championship for the Dude is a reality and with the lineup, it's a safe bet on paper.
But this team has more red flags than a beach during hurricane season. Injury after injury has hit the Dude and he has to be getting a bit worried here.
"And add Nick "The Elbow" Anderson (insert - Choo (copyright symbol)) to the list as the beat(down) of the Dude's roster goes on," the Dude said. "There's no denying that it's been an unkind spring for the Dude thus far, but the team remains in good spirits. We are confident our core can carry us and look forward to another run at the JLB crown."
End of the day, we can make light of the few red flags popping up, but the Dude still has Cody Bellinger, Jeff McNeil, Alex Bregman, Trevor Story, Rafael Devers, Mookie Betts and Yordan Alvarez, and George Springer shouldn't be out long.
All told, that's seven 30 homer bats who have 90-plus RBI projections. Good luck against this offense.
"Thankfully, the Springer injury appears to not be serious," the Dude said. "We've encouraged George to take some time to convalesce and explore the fine gentleman's clubs of Dunedin, Fla. Assuming there's gotta be one nice one, right? Air Yordan had been grounded but it appears he's ready to take off again! We are optimistic that the addition of Springer and a healthy Yordan to the lineup will help get us back to the dance once again."
He'll need it because the pitching will certainly be pieced together with Zac Gallen going down. Even with Gallen, there appears to be a bit of an emphasis on relievers by the Dude this year. Devin Williams headlines a group of high-strikeout relievers.
Maybe a minor leaguer could step in and provide the punch for the Dude, but of course, the best options in the minors are bats.
"Luciano is the obvious answer here," the Dude said on his most exciting prospect. "Power and elite bat speed. He has all the looks of a superstar. Beyond Luciano, I'm most excited about Noelvi Marte and Aaron Bracho. In the 2020 draft, I didn't draft an MLB bat until Round 11. The two bats I drafted in rounds 1-10 were Noelvi Marte and Aaron Bracho. With our expanded minor league keepers, I was looking for some younger guys with top 10 prospect potential. I believe Marte and Bracho are on their way. The Dude is very excited about this trio of 19 year olds. (insert - Walter (John Goodman): 19 year olds, Dude) (edited)."
OK, so the minor league farm system is not the answer.
Maybe there's someone out there with deep starting pitching?
Choo?
There it is. There's the answer.
Choo trades Gerrit Cole to the Dude in exchange for the billboard coming down.
"Anything to take down those horrible lights!" Choo shouts.
Eight months later, the sign is back.
"Thanks for Cole."
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