Week 1 is in the books, and would you look at that? It's Butter at the top of the National League!
Followed by the Slammers?!
And in the American League it's Sam and Choo with the only winning records.
Quite the first week for those top teams.
Sam dominated JV in a rematch of the World Series that wasn't much of a rematch. Sam's bats weren't necessarily on fire — he only batted .234 — but he nearly swept the bats losing only doubles to JV. Shortstops Trea Turner and Francisco Lindor led the way, combining for 20 hits, 4 homers, 13 RBIs, 15 runs scored and 4 stolen bases.
The Steaks picked up some categories in pitching, but Sam's sparkling 2.61 ERA and 0.987 WHIP helped add to the offensive onslaught. That and the insane figure of 17 inherited runners stranded. SEVENTEEN. Sam led the JLB last season with 120 IRS, but to put how insane this is in reference, he's on pace to record 357 in 2022.
Just wild.
The Dude took 11-of-12 pitching categories to take care of Crox, the Choo edged the JLB newcomers, Quad Eh rallied back to be the Panthers, and I beat Parker.
One more time. I beat Parker.
But it's no where near as good as Butter feels looking at his squad in first place. In fact, it couldn't happen on a better week.
He can now celebrate his Christmas with joy, and to get him into the holiday spirit, how about a true classic....
'Twas the Night Be420
not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The bongs were placed on the end table with care,
how fortunate it was for Ke'Bryan to survive an Opening Day scare.
The snacks were nestled all snug in their drawers,
as were the graham crackers waiting to become s'mores.
Asleep in his bed, thinking of Myles, Connor, and Kris,
A combined 32 hits, oh, how Butter planned to match them with canibis.
Two homers from the defensive liability named Kyle,
made it so easy to sleep in the city above the sea by a mile.
When out on the stoop there arose such a clatter,
A knock on the door, and Butter knew what was the matter.
Away to the window he flew like a flash,
tore open the shutter, to spy a man with his hash.
The first-place owner knew what was near,
A celebration of green that comes only once a year.
He opened the door, and paid the man in cash,
Oh, come on, Jimmy. You already made a rhyme with hash!
Once back inside, Butter fired up his friend,
He slid back into his couch; his night was soon to end.
He checked the standings; he was still in first,
He then checked the live scoring, expecting the worst.
But what did his glazed eyes see, another homer from Shohei,
And trade offer from Choo; there should be a button reading "NO WAY!"
Oh, what was that? Butter hit accept in spite,
“Happy four-twenty to all," he said, "and to the Jargon, I gave you fodder to write!”
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