Sam previewed the Bensalem Slammers last season and I didn't like the way it turned out.
So I was going to write my own preview when Lucas came up to me and said, "Hey, Daddy. What are you doing?"
"I'm writing my fantasy baseball preview," I said.
"Can I help?"
Lightbulb.
"Sure, son," I said. "You're going to help me."
And so it began, my question and answer segment with renowned fantasy expert, Lucas Johnson.
LUCAS: I think they all are good players. I think one can be even better than the others. Sure, he can be better. But we don't know which one is going to be better. So we'll see. ... Wait, can I say 'We shall see?'
JIMMY: OK, cryptic. I'm assuming that's Gilbert who is going to be better with that ghost fork grip he got from Kodai Senga. ... So, the Slammers seem to have the best bullpen in the JLB even without Edwin Diaz. Do you think that is going to be enough to get the Slammers back to the playoffs?
LUCAS: Well, maybe everybody is going get the same place that Jimmy is. Like maybe you'll get in third place.
JIMMY: I don't think that is possible. Well, I mean, the third place for me is possible, but that other part isn't. Anyway, I asked about the bullpen? There's a projected 109 saves and 117 holds. Are you a fan of Josh Hader?
LUCAS: Yes, because I think he's going to get a lot of home runs. Maybe he will get like 20. Wow, that's a lot.
JIMMY: Lucas, you do realize that pitchers don't hit anymore, right?
LUCAS: Oh, no. I did not know that, sorry. Just delete that part. Don't worry about it. It's just going to be there for no reason.
JIMMY: OK, well, since you are so obsessed with home runs, let's talk about the offense. Do you think Kyle Tucker will be in the running for American League MVP? He's coming of his second straight 30-homer season and last year he had a career-high 107 RBIs and 25 stolen bases. And that all came after a horrendous first month of the season.
LUCAS: Yes, but I want to say something. What if we will be so good this year? I can't wait to see if we'll be the best team this year.
JIMMY: You seem to be dodging questions. I mean, we are absolutely going to be good. And since you're saying 'We,' I'm guessing you're going to be a new co-owner? Anyway, I asked about Kyle Tucker. What do you think he will do this year?
LUCAS: I will think that he's going to be one of the best players. So he can be one of the best batters. He is going to get to the World Series. So Dad will be happy if they win. He will be so happy. He is going to get 100 RBIs and I think he is going to get to 52 home runs. Is that a lot? Yes, that is a lot.
JIMMY: I like how you answer your own questions, Lucas. Let's move on to Masataka Yoshida. He joins the Slammers this year. What kind of impact do you think he'll have?
LUCAS: I think he is going to be 100 percent good because he looks good on the picture that my Dad showed me.
JIMMY: Alright, well I think this has been productive. Any last comments?
LUCAS: Yes, a lot comments. Like five more. So, everybody will be good in the universe. All of the baseball players, like everybody, are going to be good this year. Really good. Like so good. Like one million percent good.
JIMMY: That was five on the nose. Impressive. Like one million percent impressive.
Comments