This is my year. Book it.
Those were Big League Choo's final words at his annual press conference with the Jargon Sports Network.
It wasn't your typical season preview presser with the Choo, as they are normally filled with comments that never make it to the Jargon because we censor his wild antics.
He's gotten better over the years. I have to admit it. When he first entered the JLB, his presser was littered with so much junk, I had to pretend he was Monkey and just write a preview without comments.
Yes, a lot has changed, yet here we are in 2024, and a lot remains the same — Choo is entering the season looking for that elusive first JLB World Series title.
The Big League Choo franchise is starving for that title; and let's be honest, it's the most deserving franchise of a title among the teams that haven't won yet.
The franchise has 11 winning seasons in 13 years and a franchise winning percentage of .537, which jumps to .550 when you take out his two rebuilding years in 2017 and 2018. Nine playoff appearances with a 7-9 postseason record, so the wins have come in the playoffs, but the years have always ended in a loss.
So you have to feel for Choo, especially in a time where his regular-season success has been overshadowed by the dynasty that is Big Ol' Country Breakfast.
"If I'm ever going to win a title," Choo said, "and I have to get past the mighty Breakfast just to have a chance at said title, it'll take a deep lineup filled with more studs than a Chippendale's establishment."
Always with the great visuals.
He may have traded away Ohtani, but the purpose of this offseason was clear — stack the deck with big league power.
Mookie Betts has already hit one of his projected 36 homers, and Max Muncy, Kyle Schwarber, Ronald Acuna, Aaron Judge and Austin Riley all have that 40 home run potential (and then some).
The power/run production categories may be white flag categories for most of the League this year when the go up against Choo.
They say chicks dig the long ball; well, they're really going to dig Big League Choo in 2024.
Choo smiled and realized instantly that Jimmy was going to absolutely regret asking the question about 'Chicks digging the long ball.'
"Yes," he said, adding, "Deep balls. Double dongs. Long trotters."
Two of the big hitters, Betts and Judge, came as a result of the Ohtani deal, so it is rather impressive that he was able to bring in so much power-hitting talent this offseason.
"I still can’t believe I pulled it off," he said, adding in a Biden voice: "Mookie and Judge. On top of Acuña and Riley? C’mon man."
Choo's 'Build Back Better' initiative may just be the ticket to success.
Part of that Choo-partisan deal included adding to the defense budget by approving the acquisition of more arms. In the offseason, he added Freddy Peralta, Justin Steele, Edward Cabrera, Jordan Montgomery, Edwin Diaz and Devin Williams. Adding them into the mix with Pablo Lopez and Zach Eflin could prove to be the right match to take down Breakfast.
"I am confident my pitching can keep up with Sam," he said. "Pablo/Peralta/Steele/Eflin is a solid foursome for me. Strider has to come back to earth, and I think we saw that last year sporadically. If that happens, which it will, our staff performances will be more similar than projections are showing."
I'm shocked.
No, not at Choo's projections for regression for Sam.
Rather, I'm shocked he let the word 'foursome' go without making some extra, unnecessary comment, one that would undoubtedly include Sydney Sweeney.
Our boy is growing up. Maybe the days of Choo just going on a crazy rants are over.
And maybe, just maybe, his years of going into November a loser are soon-to-be over, too.
Comments